Tribute: Rick Sanchez

His name: Rick Sanchez. His game: "on the ground" reporting. Much of this post is dedicated to the fact that at the moment, and for the last month, I've had seven channels in my apartment, one of them being CNN. Currently, I can map out Anderson Cooper's silver hair patterns better than the back of my hand. But Anderson Cooper, as dreamy and lugubrious as he may be, holds no candle to this guy, born Ricardo Sanchez in Cuba.

Using the most reliable source on the internet, I scoured Wikipedia for all information on this great man. How did I get interested in him in the first place, you might ask? Well, it all stemmed from a video I caught a few months back, made famous by TDS and Colbert, but stunning and horrific simultaneously nonetheless. While the actual video file seems to have been removed, I've found the key screenshot:




That's the man actually getting tasered. Those are real shrieks of pain. That's right, he's a man.

Did you know that Rick Sanchez killed a man? According to Truthipedia, Rick Sanchez was driving home after a Dolphins game with his Dad when a man jumped in front of his car, was paralyzed, and later died from his injuries. You might say, "Well, no fault of Rick's." Ha. He would have been totally unculpable, if not for the fact that he was drunk at the time.

Usually, you find alpha-anchors like Sanchez on Fox News. But this is CNN's elephant in the rough, and I just love the guy. He makes Anderson Cooper look like a whiny bitch, which is not hard, but he does it anyway.

So, am I the only fucking person who reads this blog? Let's go guys.