The Max and Jason Factory

So That's Why He Always Sounds Retarded

Gmail Chat Between Jason and Bardes

It's almost as though nothing has changed. Read below:

Sent at 7:29 PM on Saturday

Jason: yo

yo yo yo yo yo

do you even know about the chat feature?????

look down here!!!!!

JOHN!

over on the left

next to the email

can you see this box blinkin?!?!???!

YOU SUCK

YOU CUk

FUCK JOHN BARDES

BArdes is gaaaaaaaaay

lmn;jn

ln

Sent at 7:41 PM on Saturday
me: hi

i miss you too

did you just get the link i sent you?

You know the times are a-changin' when...

...the new black president is grooving to some live Dead at his inaugural ball.

A Salute

Carleton isn't known for producing superstars - we're the strong, silent type, generally - but one of us has made the leap from beer pong participant to genuine phenomenon. Soccer players, you'll know him well: it's Colin Steers, and he'll be appearing on Season 2 of the smash Bravo reality show Make Me A Supermodel. Click through for more details, including profiles of the other competitors - I hate to even call them 'competitors', as they're hardly worthy - that Colin will devastate.

A very sad day...

Dear all.  As I was perusing the internets today, I made a sad discovery.  Please, find out yourselves:

http://www.yourankit.com

Love to all, especially Jason and Nolan.

Yeah, fuck that guy!

Seeing "Murph"'s copy of The Voice has managed to make me less than eager to be a Carleton alum (seniors 2010 wooh!). Because then I'll be constantly reminded that losers and fuckholes are always the ones congratulated and simply noticed (and how is it a lot of them are in my year? First I have to go to Wofford then I'm stuck with troglodytes like Jim Avery, damn Doritos licker). I mean usually because Jason, you appear in a lot of photos and articles for what seems to be no reason at all except you are Jason Hitchcock, emphasis on the"cock".

How is it being a Carleton alum, my friends? I remain your inside source to all Carleton buzz. I'll keep you updated on Gonzo's unreasonable fame and Tom's lame existence (that guy really sucks, always barging into people's homes and using their things)*. I will make sure that anyone you hate will be watched- in other words I will make sure that, using "Murph"'s words, "mouth breathers" and "milk drinkers" will always remain said breathers and drinkers.

And in the meantime, I hope to see you.

*minus McKay naturally.

Graph of Rambo Kills by Movie

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New York City is a Fucking Mall

Yay new post! I'm glad to be bringing some much-needed life to this thing, after a few weeks of what I gather has been lethargy due to most of you being too busy sitting on your ass/ checking Craigslist postings for jobs/ masturbating (Abby) during the day to make posts other than chronicling recent "celebrity" on obscure news outlets. Well, Cabal-ers, it's time for change.

I came across this article on AM New York from last year that I really think captures what's been going on in New York in the past few years.

I grew up on 86th Street of Manhattan's Upper West Side, on the 9th floor of an apartment building unique in the neighborhood for a) a lack of a doorman, and b) a manual-door elevator (booyah!). As Tim will willfully note, the Upper West Side has been historically distinguished from its equally affluent, predominantly Jewish counterpart on the East Side for its cultural diversity, comparative laid-backness, and (relative) lack of conspicuous corporate presence. In the 1970's and 80's, during a period of difficult economic times for the city, interesting and cultural places like music stores, movie-theatres, mom-and-pop hardware stores, bakeries, used-book shops, and other locations of "social diversity" dotted the streets of Upper Manhattan. These were family-owned and operated. They gave the neighborhood personality; you recognized the owners, workers, and other patrons. You gathered and made memories there.

Now, walking down Broadway, it's Chase, Starbucks, Duane Reed, Chase, CVS, Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Starbucks, Duane Reed.

It's not that I disapprove of corporations. Without them, Dan and Pete would be unemployed. Often during my youth I would go to the local Tower Records or B & N to buy books and music, and didn't really mind much. I also understand that it's difficult for small businesses to compete in an environment like New York, where the recent housing boom (unimpeded by the disaster in the rest of the country) has hiked up rents faster than a Oussein Bolt 50. But while the economic boom has been good for the city economically, it has all but destroyed its cultural heritage.

Then:

Now:
This is why I have left New York, honestly. In addition to being fucking expensive, walking down the street is like taking a stroll through the Mall of America. It's bland and uninteresting. Now, as I'm sure Paul will attest, this is not the case throughout the entire city. Places like Brooklyn still have cool stuff, but the trend still remains. NYC is going to corporate hell.

I hope this post will be applicable to those of you currently living in the city or considering moving there. Until something is done about this, I'm content with traveling 15 minutes to Bloomington instead of finding the same thing 1500 miles away in Manhattan.

I, three, am a celebrity.

Just read the first two words of the article. everything else is BORING.