Monday, December 1, 2008

Yeah, fuck that guy!


Seeing "Murph"'s copy of The Voice has managed to make me less than eager to be a Carleton alum (seniors 2010 wooh!). Because then I'll be constantly reminded that losers and fuckholes are always the ones congratulated and simply noticed (and how is it a lot of them are in my year? First I have to go to Wofford then I'm stuck with troglodytes like Jim Avery, damn Doritos licker). I mean usually because Jason, you appear in a lot of photos and articles for what seems to be no reason at all except you are Jason Hitchcock, emphasis on the"cock".

How is it being a Carleton alum, my friends? I remain your inside source to all Carleton buzz. I'll keep you updated on Gonzo's unreasonable fame and Tom's lame existence (that guy really sucks, always barging into people's homes and using their things)*. I will make sure that anyone you hate will be watched- in other words I will make sure that, using "Murph"'s words, "mouth breathers" and "milk drinkers" will always remain said breathers and drinkers.

And in the meantime, I hope to see you.

*
minus McKay naturally.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

New York City is a Fucking Mall


Yay new post! I'm glad to be bringing some much-needed life to this thing, after a few weeks of what I gather has been lethargy due to most of you being too busy sitting on your ass/ checking Craigslist postings for jobs/ masturbating (Abby) during the day to make posts other than chronicling recent "celebrity" on obscure news outlets. Well, Cabal-ers, it's time for change.

I came across this article on AM New York from last year that I really think captures what's been going on in New York in the past few years.

I grew up on 86th Street of Manhattan's Upper West Side, on the 9th floor of an apartment building unique in the neighborhood for a) a lack of a doorman, and b) a manual-door elevator (booyah!). As Tim will willfully note, the Upper West Side has been historically distinguished from its equally affluent, predominantly Jewish counterpart on the East Side for its cultural diversity, comparative laid-backness, and (relative) lack of conspicuous corporate presence. In the 1970's and 80's, during a period of difficult economic times for the city, interesting and cultural places like music stores, movie-theatres, mom-and-pop hardware stores, bakeries, used-book shops, and other locations of "social diversity" dotted the streets of Upper Manhattan. These were family-owned and operated. They gave the neighborhood personality; you recognized the owners, workers, and other patrons. You gathered and made memories there.

Now, walking down Broadway, it's Chase, Starbucks, Duane Reed, Chase, CVS, Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Starbucks, Duane Reed.

It's not that I disapprove of corporations. Without them, Dan and Pete would be unemployed. Often during my youth I would go to the local Tower Records or B & N to buy books and music, and didn't really mind much. I also understand that it's difficult for small businesses to compete in an environment like New York, where the recent housing boom (unimpeded by the disaster in the rest of the country) has hiked up rents faster than a Oussein Bolt 50. But while the economic boom has been good for the city economically, it has all but destroyed its cultural heritage.

Then:

Now:
This is why I have left New York, honestly. In addition to being fucking expensive, walking down the street is like taking a stroll through the Mall of America. It's bland and uninteresting. Now, as I'm sure Paul will attest, this is not the case throughout the entire city. Places like Brooklyn still have cool stuff, but the trend still remains. NYC is going to corporate hell.

I hope this post will be applicable to those of you currently living in the city or considering moving there. Until something is done about this, I'm content with traveling 15 minutes to Bloomington instead of finding the same thing 1500 miles away in Manhattan.

Monday, September 22, 2008

I, three, am a celebrity.

Just read the first two words of the article. everything else is BORING.

I miss you

Awesome Cabal,

There's not a lot of time, and this isn't funny, but I just wanted to say that I miss you all and send lots of love from Tianjin, China. I went to a club on Saturday night to celebrate my birthday, and the only thing missing was this group. Granted, the hookah was a little crappy and the beer expensive, but it would have been a plus to have you all there.

Again, love!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Thursday, September 11, 2008

i am a celebrity

I was on the news at work! oh, update: I have a job.

here

apparently I have a blinking problem. I think I was trying to hold in a yawn.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Ganja-cillin?


The benefits just keep on coming.