Seeing "Murph"'s copy of The Voice has managed to make me less than eager to be a Carleton alum (seniors 2010 wooh!). Because then I'll be constantly reminded that losers and fuckholes are always the ones congratulated and simply noticed (and how is it a lot of them are in my year? First I have to go to Wofford then I'm stuck with troglodytes like Jim Avery, damn Doritos licker). I mean usually because Jason, you appear in a lot of photos and articles for what seems to be no reason at all except you are Jason Hitchcock, emphasis on the"cock".
How is it being a Carleton alum, my friends? I remain your inside source to all Carleton buzz. I'll keep you updated on Gonzo's unreasonable fame and Tom's lame existence (that guy really sucks, always barging into people's homes and using their things)*. I will make sure that anyone you hate will be watched- in other words I will make sure that, using "Murph"'s words, "mouth breathers" and "milk drinkers" will always remain said breathers and drinkers.
And in the meantime, I hope to see you.
*minus McKay naturally.
